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Shapeshifting

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After listening to an inspiring conversation from one of my most favorite spiritual mentors, Matt Kahn I felt moved to write this next blog.

The title is indicative of the many costumes and hats we wear throughout our life; by acting, saying, doing and being a certain way rather than being ourselves. Do we realize that these shape shifting/people pleasing behaviors deny us being true to our biggest ally- ourself?  It keeps us playing small rather than owing our inner personal power.
Somehow we have come to believe that people pleasing helps us to gain another’s mutual attention, it keeps us safe from rejection by not becoming the next victim should others get triggered for one reason of another.
For example: if we are with our family or a group of friends, we may say and do the things that we believe they would like to hear. In essence, we are matching and mirroring other people’s thoughts and feelings rather than just being ourself.

The very fear of not fitting in, or being in the community can be frightening for many people. They could be rejected from the tribe, and this rejection appears to come at a high price. A price that is at the expense of our own personal dignity.
So many of us are seeking validation from others that we lose sight of the values and ethics that we hold near and dear to our hearts -we give up our personal power by denying our own inner authority. In our innocent minds it seems OK, but in truth we are matching and mimicking others to just fit in. People pleasing can be seen as a false sense of protection because we think we are keeping ourself safe and protected from beings hurt, abandoned, or devastated by others.

I played this role many times in my life because I had this need to be accepted. Many years of childhood conditioning: bullying, neglect and fear etc. led to a healthy dose of low self-esteem and deep-seated feelings of unworthiness. I believed it was better to fit in “with the Jones” rather than be true to myself because I might be standing on my own, and the thought of that was completely frightening. In fact, it’s frightening for many people and that is why they don’t speak up by compromising their truth.

Emotional maturity and many life experiences will eventually help us come to the realization that we are courageous and very capable of speaking up. What we have to say is important, and when we value ourselves it is easy to have healthy conversation an opinion on various topics. Of course, not everybody has to agree with us, and that’s just fine as long as we are comfortable in our skin and remain authentic to ourselves.

Consider these 2 questions…

“Will we follow our own intuition or will we remain an extension of other people’s journeys?
-We are not responsible at how they choose to feel, as their emotional responses are based on their experiences and their life lessons.  It has nothing to do with us. So, don’t take things personally, (sometimes this is difficult but eventually, trust me, figure it out).

Will we stand true to our own ethics, values and morals or will we buckle under the pressure of society’s restriction and limitations?
-It takes a lot of courage and a willingness to stand for what you believe but when you do , you allow the best version of you to come forward which has an impact on everyone else you touch. A win- win situation for all.  What could be better than that?

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Drawing my lines in the Sand

line-in-sand

Drawing my lines in the Sand (my own personal experience) 

I have come believe that throughout much of my life I have drawn lines in the sand.  Lines of doubt, crippling fear, confusion, agony, imprisonment, lack, suffering, regret, frustration and more.  I had to ask myself why, why on earth would this happen to a little kid, why me?  So full of innocence, love, imagination so carefree and pure, ready to embark on this new adventure called life. Did I have blinders on? Or was my vision impaired in some way, a way that eluded me for so very many years.

I found out that trauma, shame, guilt and anything else that robs us of our inner peace sabotages us from aligning with our true nature. These false beliefs and so-called limitations that we have innocently bought into for some reason or another begin to diminish our human spirit piece by piece.  This can happen for many people- but the very good new is…things can absolutely change for the better.

Believing with unwavering faith, trust and a knowing that a much bigger force of love is at work here helped me to breathe easier.  It has taken me much strength and resiliency to embrace a difficult journey and rise above all the challenges to now hold my head up high  with a big smile on my face. If I can do it, so can you, just by putting one foot in front of another each and every day.

At an important age of 47, a very pivotal point in my life, I every so gently took back  my control of living unconsciously for so many years.  I began stepping into my power and making a commitment and promise to take the time and unwavering determination to make big shifts and small shifts, whatever it took to make sense from the whole picture that was playing for 47 years. It was one tissue at a time, one journal entry at a time in my 10+ books and connecting with spirituality in ways I could have never imagined. In addition I began stepping into service of giving and that really has helped to turn my around as to what important and where to focus my time and precious energy.

The other side of the line….

is happiness, joy, peace, gratitude, forgiveness, love, abundance, nourishment, support etc. I speak for myself here, but now I very clearly understand and know that my emotional pain, and trauma were a necessary part of my unraveling to the understanding of who I am why I am here. My adversity had to open up the inner child…. you know….the child in ALL of us who sometimes screams out for attention and acknowledgement wanting to be honored and loved. She wanted to hear the words “it all going to be ok I am here for you no matter what.” I’ve got you back and we are in this together” For the first time in my there seemed to be a voice and I could hear it!!! Who is that talking to me?  It was the quiet assured voice of my higher self (source, higher consciousness, God, wisdom, there are many names for this powerful force of LOVE) and it was clear, peaceful, and most loving. This voice of intuition/guidance is there for everyone.  But, we have to take the time to connect with the voice of love-and when when we do our life changes dramatically for the better. (I have discussed this in past blogs, so feel free to find out some ways you can connect with your true essence).

Everyone spiritual awakening does not need to have tumultuous circumstances as I did, as your journey is most uniquely designed with the perfection of your soul’s agenda and evolution expansion.  My hope is that you always bask in the journey of mystery  and wonder opening yourself to the truth of your beauty and creativity by living your completeness with intention, purpose and passion….and course Love…. always Love…

Follow the Breadcrumbs…

Things in life are on an “as we need to know” basis. Life does not come with the book of directions although sometimes that  seems quite appealing.
Every bread crumb  that we are given is one more step in the direction of expanding into a higher level of awareness.
Our path may lead to us to have many questions about why things happened in the past and what’s going to happen in the future. Although this can be most compelling, wisdom reveals that if we stay stuck in these ongoing patterns, we are innocently losing sight of the precious “present moment” right on front of us.

The divine design of each experience brings forth exactly what we need to know at the perfect time when we need to know, not a moment sooner or a moment later…If what we wanted showed up earlier or later we would not be completely able to receive it at our most opportune time. 

Understandably, disheartening setbacks, disappointments and dreams that fail to materialize on our timeline are all an inevitable part of human existence. That why is most important to remember that our journey is perfectly & purposely orchestrated in a way to help us handle whatever lies before us  (in the present moment) with grace and ease.

I wonder could we could just give up the need to control this and surrender to our inner wisdom. The thought of this may frighten many of us, and we may not feel safe, so we try to control a perfection that is already laid out and in doing so, we sometimes become our worst enemy.
By simply following the natural order of the present moment our life can move along much smoother because we begin to realize we are quite safe exactly where we are. This means we have to completely trust the process, let go of the fear and step into courage which by the way, is our natural state of being.

We are given the gift of time to listen to the quiet voice of our intuition and then move forward with conscious intention. It really means letting go of the reins of how we think all should go and just surrender the fact that a higher power has our best interest at heart. Now that doesn’t mean we don’t take part in the co- creative process, our free will allows us to respond with dignity and make choices to stand forth in our highest integrity, value and ethics.

I have come to believe when we trust in the process, we allow ourselves to let go of what we think we know. The mind is limited since it only basis relies on its on what it has experienced, where as our higher self/spirit/God Is unlimited and can see all outcomes. Wisdom always trumps all mind experiences with the highest level of soul maturity.

Although each bread crumb we are gifted with may seem to be slowly materializing, it is steady, and, when we maintain our patience and let faith lead the way -victory is the Inevitable outcome!

Namaste

***Friends, I am sending blessing of well-being for every one as we navigate through this pandemic United in Love…

The Universe Has a Plan

20200515_152513I spend many hours mindfully and intentionally going within my heart, and today provided to be no different. As I was quietly contemplating life sitting in my comfortable lounge chair, I faced towards the rock wall that decorated my beautiful back yard. So many rock formations of all shapes and sizes; some are really very large and some are tiny. Even the smallest of stones are intermixed under the largest of rocks which I found to be quite interesting. Could these little stones be part of the whole support system in the rock wall? The flawlessness of nature always amazes me. It Synchronizes everything in the most perfect spot, cohesively and with such simplicity, beauty and uniqueness. Up to this point in time I haven’t noticed the beauty of this structure, even though I have spent countless times in my backyard. Today felt different, it was as if revelations of truth aspired to be revealed. My thought process just decided to halt and venture into the stillness of the moment. This is where our intuition, mystery and spark of creativity arises and I was right there receiving it with open arms.

Metaphorically speaking, we are all unique individual expressions of a grand whole. and, every part we play in our life experience provides a tremendous puzzle piece to a greater and grander picture. Although many times we question things, I have come to believe that nothing is out of place-all is perfectly integrated into the life we are meant to have in fulfilling our highest potential. That include the joys, adversities and everything in between. As we align with our deepest stillness we can access our truth of integrity, ethics and value, realizing that this inner perfection is always at work on our behalf -even if we can’t see it, feel it, taste it, or touch it.

Just as each rock is significant, and meant to be in its specific place human beings are the same.  When we embody this, we begin to open the doors of knowing our tremendous value. Every circumstance, event and relationship that touches us is meant to help mold and shape us into realizing the truth of who we are. Nothing is by accident; it is the Eternal dance with the ebb and flow of our intricate journey.

The foundation of our choices helps to create our reality.  It is important to ask ourselves this question, Are the Choices I am making aligning with the value I want to demonstrate or am we settling for less?  May I suggest we all take a deep dive at how we are choosing to live our life … Do our choices align with foundation of our heart centered nature?  If so, that is wonderful keep shining; And, if not consider reevaluating your mindset because you will eventually realize that your choices are a demonstration of who you are, and how you choose to show up in this world. Let your Intuition gently guide you, as there’s no turning back- only a facing forward towards your grandest destiny.

The Universe has a plan and by being your best self you will witness the strength and resiliency that lies within you and rise above whatever life brings forth.

Namaste

 

The Weight Loss Struggle

weight loss journey

As far back as I can remember I had always been struggling with weight. Ever since my college years I lived in yo-yo patterns. I innocently knew I have spent much too time criticizing how I look, (often repeating patterns from others that I experienced throughout much of my early life). All the bullying and cruel words took quite a toll on my self-esteem and the confidence I had with myself and my body. Does this sound familiar to you? It doesn’t have to be bullying, it can be another form of pain and hurt that occurred in your life, and it still there showing up as extra emotional weight which many times=physical weight.

Fast forward 59 years later, I have spent many hours reading books, taking courses, attending events, repeating affirmations, and doing my best to hold positive thoughts about my body image. It feels as though I have exhausted every possibility, limiting belief, negative thought, family karma, and inherited ancestral baggage, not to mention exhaustive research about genes/biology and its effect on the body.

I eat very healthy, mostly organic food and drink, and, I avoid preservatives, additives and processing in food. I exercise 4-5 times per week and meditate with discipline.

I asked myself this question?  Do I give up after all of these painstaking years of effort? No, not just yet…. I have always had a strong will to find out answers so I am determined to uncover this mystery.

I decided to pick up yet another book which, I will say, stands apart for other things I already have read. Being an avid Energy Medicine Practitioner I decided to visit the “EFT Approach”- one, which I’m very familiar with…To my surprise I was delighted to finally have an ah-ha moment. The tears ran down my face when this was revealed.

The words rang true from the pain of the past. I thought to myself, “didn’t I let go of this stuff years ago, apparently it’s still haunting me, ugh…”

Apparently, the emotional pain was deeply ingrained in my inner child, I guess it felt safer to protect her rather than sink down into painful feelings even though they were crying out loud to be acknowledged. As Oprah once said “Don’t let the whispers turn into screams.”  And, that is exactly what they did.

The cold hard truth was: I didn’t allow myself to lose the weight because it just didn’t feel safe to do so. When I had my most shapely and sexy figure I was in high school and college. But now at 59 years of age I finally allowed the memories to be heard and they came flooding back to remind me of the horrendous bullying I had experienced in school and in the neighborhood- in fact our whole family was bullied. How could I find the strength to relive this again??  Did I actually buy into all of terrible lies? Apparently, I did.

I now choose to forgive everyone and everything so that I can be free of this suffering. Let me clearly state that it doesn’t mean I condone everyone’s despicable actions and words; it just means I wanted peace from the hurt and pain. So, I am freeing the negative memories and experiences.  I am consciously choosing to forgive all experiences, including forgiving myself for buying into this B.S.  I do it to liberate my heart into a happier, healthier way of being. I came to understand that at my young age I hadn’t developed enough emotional maturity, strength and resiliency that I do now, so I lived  out most of my life with this painful past, haunting me.

In retrospect I it  made me who I am today. Happy, Proud, Authentic, Empathetic and Peaceful day to day. I am much better able to cope and nourish myself with the words that I never heard from loved ones. Please remember to speak to yourself with kindness, gentleness and love, it will help you to move along life’s journey with confidence and courage. I now live free of regret, guilt, blame, resentment, etc.…  As I have survived the past and truly understand that even the worst of circumstances are always here to help all of us develop into stronger, more resilient, compassionate beings; much better able to navigate life’s ups and downs.

Trauma can be devastating and when it is suppressed (unconsciously) it can reap difficulties throughout our life experiences. I came to realize how my history helped to cement beliefs that kept me in a place of needing to protect myself. My belief told me- that keeping on this extra weight would protect me from being judged, criticized, and demoralized. This was a complete misunderstanding, and it took me many years to get to the bottom of this…

Since I didn’t want to be the like the same perpetrators who caused so much pain, I had to approach my heart with tenderness, kindness, and self -love. Then with pen in hand I wrote down the reasons I felt the way I did and unknowingly to me words poured out onto the paper with tears of relief… now, ending the battle within myself.

I am para phrasing these words from the book the “Tapping Solution for Weight Loss and Body Confidence” by Jessica Ortner 

I wanted to share this, and I hope it will provide to be helpful for others as it was for me…

“We often don’t realize how the weight is serving us, by allowing us to avoid emotional pain that we’re not comfortable facing. While on a conscious level we feel desperate to lose the weight, we’re often afraid to take steps forward; but when we do, we are often surprised by what we discover.”  Everything I discovered I used as the EFT tapping sequences that I said out loud to let go of finally heal.”

This next sentence in the book shed the light and the breakthrough I was hoping for…“Ask yourself this question do you really want to care about what everyone else thinks at the expense of your own happiness?”  I reread this sentence 3-4 times to fully digest it’s meaning.

Physical Weight has may ways it can manifest, my invitation to you is to explore and give yourself a break while doing so. Be honest, and be most willing to delve into your past. For some people it may be hard to do alone- so consider seeking the help of a professional to guide you through the deep waters and layers of emotional duress.

If I can do this, so can you- have faith, trust in the process and by all means be every so gentle with you heart, you’ve been through enough.  Instead, might I suggest to unconditionally love yourself inside and out for that’s the road to emotional freedom and internal liberation. And, maybe even shedding not only emotion weigh,t but possibly some physical weight as well…

Namaste

21 Great Ways to feel more Relaxed, Peaceful and Connected to Yourself

RELAX

1-Take a walk in the park

2-Sit next to a tree and maybe even consider hugging it

3-Listen to calming music that connects with heart

4-Practice some mindful yoga

5-Watch a funny movie laughter is a great way to lighten everything

6-Journal your feelings, an consider practice active writing.

7-Close/Open your eyes and practice some deep breathing For a few minutes, especially when feeling fearful and overwhelmed.

8- Spend time in nature, maybe even in a garden by beautiful flowering plants…

9- Consider calling some friends come and loved ones and have some conversation so you can still feel connected, nourished and loved

10- Meditate or  pray as a way to connect with the deeper essence of who you are

11-Soak in a warm deep tub to relax all your muscles and your mind

12- Go Jogging or Running

13- So something creative such as: painting, drawing, singing, or dancing-be your fun-loving self

14- Read a good book

15- Exercise, Stretch and practice mindful rhythmic movements                                                                                                                                                                        16-Unplug from emails, TV, and other computer activities-escape from the world if only for 15 minutes.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                17- Plan, prepare and put together a delicious new recipe for yourself. Dabble with new spices and other ways of cooking, experiment and be creative

18- Use your imagination for a short visualization-imagine your favorite place- maybe laying on the beach basking in the beautiful sunshine. Choose your favorite destination.

19- Make Love

20-Have a yummy snack that will fill you up- maybe a handful of nuts or avocado.

21-Buy yourself some beautiful flowers, maybe some roses or a favorite houseplant. Beside being a wonderful air purifier studies show they actually help you to calm down.

***All of us can relax and feel peaceful remember it all starts within us- do not look outside for peace as the external world can be very crazy at times. You are most capable of feeling peaceful despite outside circumstances, it all begins on how you feel on the inside.

NAMASTE

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