I always find it most interesting to watch people as they receive compliments. Not in a way of criticizing or in judging others, but to just notice how much they allow their beauty to be recognized and honored. Many of us don’t accept and acknowledge compliments. What is it in our conditioning that has embedded itself so deeply in our belief system that allows us to hide from kind words? I have come to believe it is because we do not want to be seen. I can’t help but question, why? In my many years of therapeutic practice I have seen many people believing the notion that they do not measure up and are not deserving or worthy of goodness.? We see themselves as less than… Do we believe that we have to look or act a certain way to be worthy of praise? For some of us sadly, the answer would be yes. I felt this way for much of my life.
Why is it we cling to a set of rules that simply are not true? And then we innocently live by this rules…So, the question then becomes whose rules are they? Certainly they are not ours, but we make them ours by believing them and living by them. We unconsciously buy into perceptions, perspectives and beliefs that do not reflect our true nature of being. No criticism here, I am here to blame no one or nothing. Our level of conscious awareness determines how we choose to perceive and live our lives.
It is time to realize that everything we may have heard or been told is someone else’s experiences and guidelines, which may or may not resonate with us. Yes, folks it is not our stuff…what an interesting notion….
Throughout the majority of my life when anyone paid me a compliment I always had to justify myself, for example ” someone may have said “oh I really like that shirt you’re wearing,” and I responded “oh yeah I got this on sale last week.” I don’t remember ever saying “thank you” to receive those beautiful words. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I wasn’t allowing that person the benefit of giving, or even acknowledging and accepting their kindness. Unconsciously, I did this all time and didn’t even recognize it. Does this sound familiar? It’s only within the last few years I figured this out. Many people I encounter do the same thing, they avoid kind words about themselves and find ways to disregard and not pay attention to another person’s words of empowerment. In our innocence I believe we do this because we haven’t come to the realization about how amazing we really are…
I heard Matt Kahn say this last week and I thought it was genius so I’m going to repeat it
“We are never really ready for the words that matter most to us.”
Think about it, in hiding from the compliments we don’t have to be seen. If we were seen for the beauty that we are, we would have to open our eyes to the truth about ourselves, and for some people that can be very difficult. Our conditioning has led to believe it’s easier to hide behind the shadow of misperception rather than destroy the “so called” truth about what we’ve come to believe about ourselves. Familiarity and fear walked hand-in-hand at times.
The Ego /Shadow self represents our soul’s immaturity, it doesn’t know how to say nice things to us, and will find every way to sabotage, contort and misinterpret our greatness and beauty within. We then innocently develop learned patterns of behavior that are not serving us.
The good news is we can absolutely change the way we think by being willing to embrace prior assumptions, and beliefs that are grossly out of proportion. As we continue to walk more in embracing the light of Who We Are …over time we step into awareness and connect with the inner essence of our spirit. And, from that vantage point we can easily and effortlessly step back, observe these patterns and make some positive and healthy changes in loving ourselves.
Truly, self-love has always been, presently is now and will always be a consistent unwavering force of good to heal any wounds of the heart. When we allow ourselves to step into our light from the Shadows we then open our eyes to honor and accept the beauty of our being then our outer world shifts. WE ARE Precious, Radiant and Magnificent in every way- here to give and receive love by being our best and shining our light for all to see…